Fallen Angel's Lament
by Dr. Shibui
Summary: I shall show you the path they choose in their hour of despair! I shall show you the depth of their decadence! My take on the Fall, told from Lucifer's POV 'til the end. I am NOT a satanist! plz no reviews accusing me as such. Rated M for safty.


**Hi there! I know you're expecting another chap for my **_**Avatar**_** fic but unfortunately, nothing's comin' to me. Srry! I'll try harder! Not wanting my writing skills to go stagnant I decided to attempt a foray into religious fiction. Though I am by no means religious, I like to think that God watches out for me, the people I care about and that he's a Greenbay Packers fan...that was a joke. Anyway, this is my take on the Fall. I am not a satanist in any respect, though this fic is told from Lucifer's POV, and I resent any accusations of such. However, if you were to call me a blasphemer I just might laugh.**

Fallen Angel's Lament

My God.

My Father.

My Love.

Why? Why have You forsaken me?

Did I not sing of Your abundant praises in the Eternal Halls?

Did I not pay homage to Your eternal might?

Upon the Throne of All Creation You called forth light and _behold! _there was light. You then breathed into the aurora and from that light sprang forth my brothers and sisters, angels made in Your glorious image. Your radiant Firstborn. Gentle seraphim, mighty cherubim, vigilant ophanim, and countless more heavenly hosts. Foremost among Your adoring children, first in power and in love for You, was none other than myself, Lucifer, as Man now calls me. The Bearer of Light and the Morning Star.

So grateful were we that You, our Heavenly Father, saw fit to breathe into us Your life, that we assembled into choirs and began to sing.

Upon us You smiled and declared us good.

So enraptured were we as You arranged the heavens, charted out the course of the stars and planets in your infinite universe. So grand Your design. So awesome Your power. We were entranced by Your loving craft. We could not help but sing praises to your work.

You breathed Your life into other things. Plants and trees grew in accordance to Your will. You populated the boundless oceans with fish and leviathans that would one day inspire fear and awe within seafaring hearts. You raised the land from the sea and brought forth the birds, beasts and crawling things.

All these You declared good, and we, my siblings and I, sang our agreement. I envied them not. For I knew that myself, my brothers, and sisters alone possessed Your light.

Time passed, though in that joyous assemblage a moment could last forever and eternity could pass on in the blink of an eye. Stars died and new planets were born. The creatures You made had grown and changed to the point where they were utterly different from the way You had fist imagined them. But You only smiled fondly and continued to declare it all good.

Then You announced that the time had come to bring forth Man.

The singing ceased and in the unfamiliar silence we wondered what manner of creature this could be to merit so tremendous a declaration.

What will this Man creature be like? asked I.

You said that Man would be made in Your divine image and be given dominion over a place called Eden, but explained nothing more.

Curiously, we watched as our youngest brothers and sisters in Creation were crafted with care and, as with all Your creations, love. When their form was complete, as You did with the plants and trees of the land, with the fish and leviathans of the deep, with the birds, the beasts and crawling things, You breathed Your life into them.

When You finished You scrutinized them, as an artist appraising his work. Then You did something You never did with any of Your previous creations. You took a section of that light, from whence Your angels emerged, and shattered it into innumerable fragments. Each shard found its way into these little Man-things, and, as we had done since time immemorial, they began to sing Your praises.

And You smiled and declared it good.

But to me it seemed distasteful that these little Man-things would be so presumptuous as to do what it has been our place to do since time began, yet I held my tongue.

Time passed more slowly after that. Upon Eden, or Earth as it is now called, Man thrived and multiplied, and my initial disdain for them grew into malignant loathing. They defaced Your lovely forests to make room for their grotesque dwellings. They hunted down Your birds and beasts, sometimes not even to gain sustenance, but rather simply to take joy in the act of killing. Some among them continued to sing Your praises but the chorus had grown smaller of late, despite their ever growing population spreading across their planet like a pestilence.

Unable to bear the sight of them anymore, I came before You and said, Father, these creatures You made are different from the others. They don't live in concourse with the world You've given them. Rather they seem to amuses themselves with destroying it.

But You only smiled and said, They are My beloved creation, they simply need to be shown the way. After all, I have given them the same light from which you were born My son.

But they don't use it! I protested, forgetting myself for the briefest of moments. They spend their days glutting themselves on wine and desires of the flesh when they're not squabbling over land or some ridiculous yellow rock they've recently become enchanted with. Forgive me my boldness Father, but I don't believe them to be good as You've said.

You stopped smiling then and I felt the most horrible emptiness in its absence.

What is it that really troubles you My son? You asked as though You, the omnipotent and omniscient author of existence, were unaware.

My Lord, I pleaded. I beg of You. Do away with the foul things that You've mistakenly brought forth.

You believe, You said gravely. That I have erred?

No Father! I said fearfully. No! I only thought that...

Come with me, You said gently, rising from Your Throne and beckoning me to follow after.

Look there, You said pointing downward. I looked and there was a young girl cradling a wailing babe, singing him a soft lullaby. Their parents were killed in one of the countless senseless wars these creatures seem to delight in, or perhaps claimed by plague or famine which runs rampant on that world.

She now cares for her brother in their patents' stead, You said. And here, You continued, gesturing toward another section of land and I saw a beggar man reaching out to one who seemed no better off than himself, carrying a single sad loaf of bread. But the other smiled, seated himself next to the beggar and split the bread to share.

Even in their darkest hour, You declared. They see fit to bring hope to their less fortunate brothers. And here, You pointed again, this time to a battlefield. Amidst the flying arrows, the clash of metal upon metal, and the frenzied cries of bloodlust I saw two soldiers back to back facing the enemy. Valiantly they fought, sustaining many injuries but repaying their foes tenfold. At last the enemy was driven off and the two rejoiced in victory before one, with a surprised shout, shoved his comrade aside in time to take a shaft to the chest, saving his companion but dooming himself.

No greater love shall you find, You said. Than in one who willingly trades his life for another. You see my son, I have gifted Man with the ability to overcome a world that is set against them from the beginning. It is My hope that the trials and tribulations that befall them will serve to temper them like iron in the bellows. For all the bad you have seen in Man, there are just as many who show their true goodness when confronted by the horror, misery and wickedness that surrounds them, and that is when the light I had put within them shines brightest. Do you understand?

I turned my gaze back toward what had once been Eden and grimaced. Greed, lust, wrath, gluttony; these abominations to heaven run rampant upon that world. I saw Man thieving, raping, killing, often for no reason other than that they can.

No Father, I said looking away. For all the good You see in them I see their wickedness increase one hundredfold. I implore you once more, do away with them that I may look upon them no more.

You frowned and I once again felt that dreadful emptiness.

I will not, You said.

I fled from You soon after, and the heavenly symphony fell into discord. Downward I spiraled, tears stinging my eyes as my wings granted me terrible speed toward my abhorred destination. To the shadow You cast when You called forth the light that gave me life. It remained, becoming a dark chasm, a festering open wound in the underbelly of the universe, the farthest away from the Presence as it was possible to get, though none can truly escape it no matter where they flee. Downward into the abyss, I plummeted until I came to rest in a place where not even the smallest glimmer of light was visible. This was the site of what writers and poets would dub the City of Dis or Pandemonium, the capital of my dark empire. But all I knew at the time was an overwhelming sense of emptiness, and in my despair I wept.

Why?

Why?

Why have You forsaken me?

And the answer came to me, and the realization drove me into a terrible rage.

_Man!_

You cast me aside in favor of Your precious insects! How dare You?! How _dare _You drive me into darkness for the sake of those vermin wallowing in the filth of their own sin?! How can You not see how _vile_ they truly are?!

Well if You refuse to see, then I shall _show_ You! I shall _show _You what they will choose in the wake of tragedy! I shall _show_ You what course they will take in their hour of despair! I shall _show _You what they are willing to surrender for the sake of their sinful enterprises! I shall _show_ You the true depth of their decadence!

My rage eventually subsided into bitter hate as I set about my mission. Tempting Man into following his true nature, to steal, to rend, to kill, to rape, to ruin.

I soon found myself reveling in the evil that I spread. It was the final indignity, to have been corrupted so completely by these despicable monstrosities. Me. _Me!_ Who had once carried the light of heaven! _Me! _Who sang God's praises in the Timeless Halls before they were even formed!

It was abominable!

Disgraceful!

And I despised them all the more for it.

I was soon joined by others among my brothers and sisters who shared my enmity toward Man, now known to many as Beelzebub, Asmodai, Samael, Asteroth, Mammon, Belial, and many, many others. I myself was given many names as well; the Prince of Darkness, the Dragon, the Serpent, the Adversary, the Devil, the Beast, and Satan.

I delighted in the fear I inspired and more so in the entrapment of their souls; the light which You had given them and they traded away so readily for trivialities; in my domain which they call Hell. I punish them continuously for the acts I drove them to commit, gloating and mocking them in my victory. But the victory is hollow and small in comparison to that memory of the light that gave me birth.

Sometimes I cannot bear to look upon those among the damned; reflections of myself, of what I was and what I've become; and I wander alone through my dark kingdom, wondering if perchance I was in the wrong. If it was _I_ who had erred.

But then I recount all the wickedness in the world, the greatest of which are done in Your name. Countless wars, enslavement, and even genocide, all done because they believe it is Your divine will. You tried to instruct them, set down Commandments, even inspired some to write a book or two, only to have them ignore, or pervert them to their own evil ends.

Yet You continue to exalt them, offering them mercy and absolution if they would but ask.

Where was the mercy for me? Where was the absolution?

You favor them over your Firstborn but Your eyes are clouded by misguided love.

With renewed determination, I then return to my torments, making them pay for their unnumbered transgressions against You. Making them pay for what they've driven me to become.

The only thing that keeps me sane in this pit of perdition, is knowing that one day, You will see them for the scum they are and cast them aside as they so justly deserve. Then, at long last, we can all emerge from this darkness and return home and everything will be back to the way it was in the Eternal Halls, blissfully singing Your praises forevermore...

- - -

The Father looked down upon His prodigal son, His fallen angel, who had led so many of His children astray, bowed His head, and wept...

- - -

"Woe to those who dwell upon the earth and sea, for the Devil has come down to you in great fury..." _Revelation 12, 12-13_

**I went to a Catholic School for twelve years, and studied religion under various teachers, one of whom claimed to be able to predict earthquakes through the phases of the moon. Peculiar, yes, but he did make that the most interesting religion course I've ever taken as he incorporated various religions into the class discussion, notably the Islamic version of the Fall of Man. As the story goes, a djinni named Iblis refused Allah's commandment that all djinn and angels should serve Adam. So Allah cursed him and named him **_**shai'tain**_** or "enemy". This story is partly inspired by that. I've also been reading Dante's **_**Inferno**_** and John Milton's **_**Paradise Lost**_**. I don't recommend them, very difficult reads, but I did glean some ideas for this fic out of them. The fact is, I never really bought into that whole Devil trying to usurp God's throne thing. Who would be dumb enough to take on the Almighty? I also don't think it was envy of God that drove Lucifer to madness, but hatred of us. And lastly, and this is very important to me, I believe that no one is beyond redemption, no matter how long they've wandered through darkness, they can always find the light if they but look for it. Comments? Thoughts? R&R plz!**


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